i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
