all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize