i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
