man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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