I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
North Korea, Best Korea!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
