clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
