You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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