It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
