So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
