Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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