Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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