If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
