eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
