why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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