Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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