Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
