You're earring is so big in my mouth
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
