you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
