i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
