I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
