I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
