Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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