haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it because I queefed?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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