My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How does one acquire holy water?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
