I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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