Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
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