I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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