Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
