I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
