who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
