Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
