Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
