every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
