whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize