I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
