U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
