Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
