oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
