Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
