so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
