At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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