I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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