brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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