I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
