i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
