Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is wine microwaveable?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
