I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
