she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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