I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
