God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
