in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
