So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
