You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
