I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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